HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
