I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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