Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
