Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
