You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
