all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
