I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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