Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.

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(754): View more from Florida

I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.

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(301): View more from Maryland

Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.

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(310): View more from California

If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare

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