I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
