I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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