This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
