You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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