So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
