I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
