hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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