It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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