he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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