I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
