marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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