Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
