Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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