Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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