your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
