remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I need a hoe opinion
go on
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
