My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
