I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I have fence marks all over my body
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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