Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
