you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
