hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
