How'd it feel making her break her religion?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
