try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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