The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
