if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
