I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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