Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
