sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
false alarm. still invincible.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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