Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
