If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
