I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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