whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
