she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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