I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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