its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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