Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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