Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
