im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
