you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
