He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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