this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
