yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
