did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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