walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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