how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
