nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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