As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
