never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
