I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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