The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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