so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
