Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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