Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
