You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
