so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
